Kindness

Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self – understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right, and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of STRENGTH.

– Attitude to Inspiration

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I have a job.

I found a job. I love it so much. I am working at a cranberry and blueberry farm. I get some fresh air and it is good for my mental health. I am doing some easy work as pruning, weeding and planting so far. It is enjoyable. I had the opportunity to met some people around the globe as Ukrainian and Mexican. They are lovely people to work with. 

I remembered how nice it is to have soft conversation. I mean talking about easy stuff. Music, hobbies, books and what it is going out in the other side of the map. 

What am I suppose to do?

I am away from home. Taking a break from the stressors that I have at home, but I am missing home. I am missing my babies and my husband. I am doing good and getting some strength to be able to continue and fight my darkness and my demons. I want to live but when I am at home I don’t feel like that at all. When I am away I don’t feel down but I do miss my family.  I am so confused and I don’t really know what to do or what to think. 

Just thinking about life in the valley, chores at home and taking care of the kids and my anxiety is rising up. What am I suppose to do? I wish that my psychiatrist will understand me and help me to see clear about all that stuff. 

I want to go back to work and gain money to help my family but I don’t want to work at a place that I don’t like. I don’t want a student job. I want a career and for that I have to go back to school. But I need money. How am I suppose to handle all that? 

At least I didn’t go back in Quebec. I know that place is not good for me right now. But I was so depressed and sad that I needed my man to realize it. I was not able to think or see that was not good for my mental health. I am an adult and it feels like I am still a child who needs their parents to live. How is that possible? 

What am I suppose to do?