I have a job.

I found a job. I love it so much. I am working at a cranberry and blueberry farm. I get some fresh air and it is good for my mental health. I am doing some easy work as pruning, weeding and planting so far. It is enjoyable. I had the opportunity to met some people around the globe as Ukrainian and Mexican. They are lovely people to work with. 

I remembered how nice it is to have soft conversation. I mean talking about easy stuff. Music, hobbies, books and what it is going out in the other side of the map. 

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Andy Biersack gave me hope!

This picture quote is about self-harm. I like it because it is is true and I will remember it when I feel that I want to hurt myself.

I am not alone in this life. I have to remember it!

So true. Sometimes I  to far away in my mind. I have to remember to think about this one.

Dreams are important. They are our anchors. It keeps us alive!

Letter to my criminal lawyer’s abuser

Dear M. Criminal Lawyer. I am writing to you because I need to know. I have so many questions in my head. I do not understand why a lawyer will defend his client for the same charges. The client was charged 2-3 different times for sexual assault. Why do you still defend him? Is it for money? Don’t you think it might be true? If I was a lawyer and someone will have been charged and/or acquitted for sexual assault a couple times, I will seriously think about it. If this client is still walking free on the street, don’t you think he might do it again? Probably, because this client knows that he won’t lose the case if you represent him. So, my point is, if you have any daughters, would you like to know that someone like this client can be a predator for them? I have a daughter and I hope that she will never see or meet someone like that. Women don’t need that kind of men walking free. I also understand that you have a job to do but can you sleep good at night? Because if I was a lawyer and know that I defend a rapist, I will be scared for my daughter or for the other women. I will definitely not be able to sleep at night.

Counseling for the sexual assault

I finally found a good psychologist. He is going to help me to deal with the sexual assault that happened a year ago. I didn’t move on. I thought I did but no. My man called the Military assistance program and a week later I had an appointment booked. How amazing is that? I am so happy now. I am more than ready to work on myself to be able to share a stable life with my family. Because I love them so much and they deserve a healthy mom/spouse. I am grateful to have such good support around me. 

Good day & good news

Let’s talk about my day. I had an excellent day and there is why.

  1. I had a coffee and some fresh macaroons from the French bakery with my best friend.
  2. I finally got set up to quit smoking cigarette by using a vapor with my favorite flavor. Pina colada!
  3. I am going to be entering in the pre-training for the DBT intensive therapy in June.  The therapy will start in fall.
  4. I worked on my resume this afternoon with my counselor at the MFRC and I want to work on a farm this summer. Berries and vegetables picking is what I am looking for. I already set up a list with few farms that I will drop my resume at. Wish me luck!
  5. I am at home with my family.

I can finally enjoy some happiness in my living room tonight.