I am away from home. Taking a break from the stressors that I have at home, but I am missing home. I am missing my babies and my husband. I am doing good and getting some strength to be able to continue and fight my darkness and my demons. I want to live but when I am at home I don’t feel like that at all. When I am away I don’t feel down but I do miss my family. I am so confused and I don’t really know what to do or what to think.
Just thinking about life in the valley, chores at home and taking care of the kids and my anxiety is rising up. What am I suppose to do? I wish that my psychiatrist will understand me and help me to see clear about all that stuff.
I want to go back to work and gain money to help my family but I don’t want to work at a place that I don’t like. I don’t want a student job. I want a career and for that I have to go back to school. But I need money. How am I suppose to handle all that?
At least I didn’t go back in Quebec. I know that place is not good for me right now. But I was so depressed and sad that I needed my man to realize it. I was not able to think or see that was not good for my mental health. I am an adult and it feels like I am still a child who needs their parents to live. How is that possible?
What am I suppose to do?