There I am, alive. I am on recovery mentally and physically from another suicide attempt that happened on Easter Monday.
I was feeling so down and low and I had so much difficulties dealing with my mental health that I wanted to leave my life again. The only exit that I found was to die. I am struggling too much and it’s now harder and harder to handle. A little negative things, a tiny argue and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am still afraid of my demons and my darkness. I hope one day I will be able to fight them. I guess I will make it happens when I get in the DBT program.
They keep sending me home. Most of my stressors are at home. No wonder why I wanted to quit my life if I stay home. I can’t concentrate on myself if it is too busy around me. Specially if I am mentally down. I talked with my man and I am spending couple days in in the city until I get to see my psychiatrist on friday. I hope she can help me figure out something that I can hang on to until I start the DBT.
For now I am relaxing and taking care of myself. Yesterday I went to the Hindu temple. I found hope and faith. I couldn’t believe it that I still want to live after all those struggles. I was able to let go some of my negative energy through the music. The power of that amazing energy found my soul and helped me believe that I just have to work a bit harder and I can make it happens.
I want a new life. I want to build a new life in positivity and be happy.
Next step is to go to the temple every Sunday if I don’t have any family engagements. I will do anything to help myself. At this point I found that the temple helped me to find my soul again. Yes I have a soul and I want to surround it with positive energy as much as I can.