Unhealthy relationships

I have always been in unhealthy relationship until I found my man. I started looking at boys very young and my first boyfriend that I had was in junior high. I was 14. I slept with him a week later. I lost my virginity when I was 14 years old. When I reflect on it, I think that I was looking for love and I didn’t want him to leave me. I was also intimidated so finally someone was looking at me. I was vulnerable. So I gave him something. I gave him my heart. When I think about my daughter, I know that I will freak out if it happens to her as well. 

My second relationship was also unhealthy because I was 15 years old and my boyfriend was 23 years old. I was also sleeping with him. We stayed together for 2 years. I lost a part of my childhood. I was manipulated and I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be an adult. It was too early. When I realized it, I started going out in bars with friends. I was 17 years old. I was sleeping around a lot. Because I thought I couldn’t stay stable in a relationship.

The next boyfriend I had was a drug dealer. I lost a lot because of him. I was getting low in self esteem as well. We stayed together for 8 months and during Christmas holidays, I did my first suicide attempt because he wanted to leave me. I was devastated. The fear of being abandoned was huge.

The next relationship and the last unhealthy one I had was when I was in Bagot ville. I lost my dignity and my self esteem. I was nothing to him. He used me as much as he can; just like a slave, I was taking care of everything without getting paid or thanked.  

I finally met my man. Now I have a healthy relationship. We still have ups and downs but instead of ignoring them we work through them as a healthy couple. This is what we are suppose to do. He is also my support number one and I can’t wait to finally get married in 2020.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s