When I was in Bagotville

When I was in Bagotville, Quebec, I was involved in a fatal car crash. I was driving behind my friend and a snowmobile coming from the right didn’t stop and hit the car.

I saw the lights shining in the field, coming so close to me. I saw a big light just like an explosion. It happened very fast. It took time for me to realized what just happened. I was hearing to the guys in my own car yelling at me to stop the car. 

I stopped the car. By the time I was realizing what was going on, the people who were in the car with me were already in the middle of the road giving CPR to the man on the street. I called 911 and asked for medical assistance. My friend’s car was in the ditch the other side of the road and one of them was inconsious. I was freaking out. I was on my way down the street to go see the man, to see if he was fine and the only thing that I was able to see is that lake of blood behind and around him. His helmet was gone. He was dead. I was in shocked. It was the first time I was involved in a car accident but also the first time I was seeing a lot amount of blood and a dead body. Physically I was fine but not mentally. The ambulance brought my friend to the hospital (my man today). He woke up 6 hours later. My friend in the other vehicle had neck pain but consious and she knows what was going on. 

Anyone asked me how I was. I saw a horrible and traumatic event and I was in shocked. No one asked, probably because I was not injured physically and I was in the car behind.

I had nightmares for at least 2 weeks. Re-living that accident and seeing the blood on the street. I was having anxiety while driving at night time. I was uncomfortable while driving by the place where the accident happened. I bottled my emotions and moved on.

The point is, it doesn’t matter if you are victims or witnesses, we should have access to the same kind of medical assitance specially in mental health when a traumatic event happens.


One thought on “When I was in Bagotville

  1. Since my car accident I have ptsd. I freak out. Everytime I am in a car I think every truck will hit and then die. The image of the impact is always coming back in my mind. Its been 5 months now. Sometime I’m telling myself I need to numb my pain and my nightmare, So on one night after an episode of anxiety I’ve decided to drink alone before going to bed. Oh my, I felt so sleepy after and then I fell asleep on the couch. Normally I don’t drink. But I wanted to stop those visions, the physical pain. Since that night I never touch a bottle of wine alone. Even if sometime I want to drink the bottle and I fight. This trauma is always in my head I want this to stop. I know the bottle isn’t the solution. My gosh its so hard for me. I want to be strong.

    Liked by 1 person

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